Sunday, June 24, 2012

A Loveless Marriage

Making Your Marriage Work When You Don't Love Your Spouse

Being married is never easy. When you feel the love is gone, make the effort to stay married anyway. Your family deserves it. 
There are many reasons that people marry. Some people marry for love, some marry for companionship, and others marry for convenience and still others for money. Some couples have an “arranged” marriage where the match was made by their parents. Many people marry because they have unexpectedly become pregnant and the list goes on.

Although there are many reasons people get married in the first place, there are relatively few reasons why people stay married.

Unbelievably some couples actually enjoy their marriage and stay together “till death do they part” because they cannot imagine living without their chosen mate. Some couples stay together for the sake of their children and others stay together for fear of the unknown. No matter the reasoning behind couples choosing to make their marriage work even when they don’t feel love for each other, short of the marriage being an abusive situation, it is a choice that should be applauded and supported by friends and family members. If the choice has been made to continue the marriage in a loveless scenario there are things that can be done to make the union enjoyable for both parties involved.

Remember that you chose this person. Whatever has changed between the beginning of the relationship and current circumstances does not have bearing on the fact you chose to marry your spouse. “In sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do you part”. The marriage may have hit a “bad time”. That does not give license to end the marriage. People have to learn to work through the “bad times”. Enduring difficult circumstances is a character building and relationship strengthening opportunity. Learn to embrace the challenges, work through the difficulties and come out stronger for making the effort; this is essential if you want to stay together.

Put your spouse first. It can be difficult, but learning to put your feelings aside and treating your spouse as if they are a top priority will work wonders in the happiness of the home. Some people may ask: “Why do I have to always be the one to put forth the effort?” If this is a question you are asking, ask yourself another one: Do you want your marriage to work or not?

Recall the things you love most about your spouse. There are traits that your spouse possesses that you found charming in the past. Ironically enough they may even be the things that annoy you most now. Take some time to cherish those traits. Learn to love your spouse again and commit to stay together.
To stay together and make a marriage work even if you think you no longer love your spouse can be difficult, but with a positive attitude, a “can do” spirit and a willing heart it is possible to have the happy, loving family of your dreams.


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