Making Your Marriage Work When You Don't Love Your Spouse
Being married is never easy. When you feel the love is gone, make the effort to stay married anyway. Your family deserves it.
There are many reasons that people marry. Some people marry for love,
some marry for companionship, and others marry for convenience and
still others for money. Some couples have an “arranged” marriage where
the match was made by their parents. Many people marry because they have
unexpectedly become pregnant and the list goes on.
Although there are many reasons people get married in the first place, there are relatively few reasons why people stay married.
Unbelievably some couples actually enjoy their marriage and stay
together “till death do they part” because they cannot imagine living
without their chosen mate. Some couples stay together for the sake of
their children and others stay together for fear of the unknown. No
matter the reasoning behind couples choosing to make their marriage work
even when they don’t feel love for each other, short of the marriage
being an abusive situation, it is a choice that should be applauded and
supported by friends and family members. If the choice has been made to
continue the marriage in a loveless scenario there are things that can
be done to make the union enjoyable for both parties involved.
Remember that you chose this person. Whatever has
changed between the beginning of the relationship and current
circumstances does not have bearing on the fact you chose to marry your
spouse. “In sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death
do you part”. The marriage may have hit a “bad time”. That does not give
license to end the marriage. People have to learn to work through the
“bad times”. Enduring difficult circumstances is a character building
and relationship strengthening opportunity. Learn to embrace the
challenges, work through the difficulties and come out stronger for
making the effort; this is essential if you want to stay together.
Put your spouse first. It can be difficult, but
learning to put your feelings aside and treating your spouse as if they
are a top priority will work wonders in the happiness of the home. Some
people may ask: “Why do I have to always be the one to put forth the
effort?” If this is a question you are asking, ask yourself another one:
Do you want your marriage to work or not?
Recall the things you love most about your spouse.
There are traits that your spouse possesses that you found charming in
the past. Ironically enough they may even be the things that annoy you
most now. Take some time to cherish those traits. Learn to love your
spouse again and commit to stay together.
To stay together and make a marriage work even if you think you no
longer love your spouse can be difficult, but with a positive attitude, a
“can do” spirit and a willing heart it is possible to have the happy,
loving family of your dreams.